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Author Topic: Hippo v Rhino  (Read 941 times)
Bob_Ender
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« on: March 06, 2021, 11:38:10 PM »

Be some fight that like......

In water......Hippo by a knock out...

On land.......🤔ohhh, be close that.......🤔x



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« Reply #1 on: March 07, 2021, 12:11:28 AM »

What if the rhino was really small and wearing a Sainsbury's bag for life to protect itself?
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Ollyboro
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« Reply #2 on: March 07, 2021, 12:26:06 AM »

Hippo by a country mile. Brutal fuckers. They kill more humans in Africa than any other large animal and can run about as fast a rhino. And have you seen the teeth on the cunts? Whereas your average rhino's horn has been sold to some dark age Chinese cunt desperately seeking a hard on.
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monkeyman
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« Reply #3 on: March 07, 2021, 12:32:39 AM »

Hippo by a country mile. Brutal fuckers. They kill more humans in Africa than any other large animal and can run about as fast a rhino. And have you seen the teeth on the cunts? Whereas your average rhino's horn has been sold to some dark age Chinese cunt desperately seeking a hard on.
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myboro
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« Reply #4 on: March 07, 2021, 12:56:29 AM »

That's vegetarians for you 
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Bob_Ender
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« Reply #5 on: March 07, 2021, 03:54:44 AM »

Good reasoned response Olly me lad,fuck knows what loony tunes is on about,Sainsbury's bag,haaa ahhh haaaa,how we laffed.

It's all Lidl  n aldi in Africa.............DAFCUN.        🐙🦀🐸
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« Reply #6 on: March 07, 2021, 10:22:23 AM »

I emailed David Attenborough about this and he replied...

"If the hippo is too far from water, the rhino probably wins. On land, the rhino has the hippo beat in terms of speed, maneuverability, and weight. The rhino can charge the hippo, and while his horn isn’t as hard as the ivory tusks of a hippo, it is still plenty hard enough to penetrate a hippo’s skin. After enough horn-sized holes are poked through its hide, the hippo will eventually bleed out and die.

If the fight takes place at the edge of the water, say, by a watering hole, then things become more more dicey. The rhino dare not enter the water, and the hippo dare not get too far from the water’s edge, lest the rhino’s land advantage start to come into play. The smartest outcome for both animals would be a stalemate, with the hippo staying in the water and the rhino staying on the land, but I still count this as a slight victory for the rhino, since the whole reason the rhino is at the water in the first place is to get a drink, and if the hippo stays in the water, the hippo cannot stop the rhino from achieving this objective.

If the fight takes place with both animals in the water, then the hippo almost certainly wins. The hippo has far more speed and maneuverability in the water, and will likely attempt to push the rhino further and further into the water to try and drown the rhino, something it is definitely capable of doing.

Regardless, no matter which animal is the victor, both animals will likely sustain severe damage. It is no wonder that this type of fight rarely occurs in the wild. Honey badgers would knock fuck out of them both"
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John Theone
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« Reply #7 on: March 07, 2021, 10:28:19 AM »

Surely they could just sit down over a camomile tea and sort it out amicably?

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kippers
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« Reply #8 on: March 07, 2021, 10:58:53 AM »

Dont think Rhinos swim.
On land Rhino wins by a mile.
Its a tank against a big fat bastard.
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Minge
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« Reply #9 on: March 07, 2021, 11:07:41 AM »

It would need a strong referee, quick on his toes and take no shit,
Polar bear would do a job  :like:
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Ollyboro
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« Reply #10 on: March 07, 2021, 02:26:07 PM »

I emailed David Attenborough about this and he replied...

"If the hippo is too far from water, the rhino probably wins. On land, the rhino has the hippo beat in terms of speed, maneuverability, and weight. The rhino can charge the hippo, and while his horn isn’t as hard as the ivory tusks of a hippo, it is still plenty hard enough to penetrate a hippo’s skin. After enough horn-sized holes are poked through its hide, the hippo will eventually bleed out and die.

If the fight takes place at the edge of the water, say, by a watering hole, then things become more more dicey. The rhino dare not enter the water, and the hippo dare not get too far from the water’s edge, lest the rhino’s land advantage start to come into play. The smartest outcome for both animals would be a stalemate, with the hippo staying in the water and the rhino staying on the land, but I still count this as a slight victory for the rhino, since the whole reason the rhino is at the water in the first place is to get a drink, and if the hippo stays in the water, the hippo cannot stop the rhino from achieving this objective.

If the fight takes place with both animals in the water, then the hippo almost certainly wins. The hippo has far more speed and maneuverability in the water, and will likely attempt to push the rhino further and further into the water to try and drown the rhino, something it is definitely capable of doing.

Regardless, no matter which animal is the victor, both animals will likely sustain severe damage. It is no wonder that this type of fight rarely occurs in the wild. Honey badgers would knock fuck out of them both"
Concerned about the potentially misleading information Attenborough may have given you, I emailed leading naturalist and Asperger'sist Chris Packham. He replied with...
"I wouldn't listen to a word that that cunt Attenborough says. It's typical nonagenarian orthodoxy to expect a rhino to give a hippo an on land kicking. The daft auld cunt is forgetting a couple of things:

1) The rhino's eyesight is worse than a wanking Mr Magoo's

2) The hippo's ability to spray shit

The hippo would whirl his tail whilst shitting. To the Lennie Peters of the animal Kingdom, The Mackem sized pile of shit produced would not only appear to be a hippo, but would crucially SMELL like one. As the rhino ploughs headfirst into the shite, the hippo would rear end the daft cunt into a swamp

I hope this helps. I appreciate your offer of a photograph of your penis as payment for my expertise, but even though I work for the BBC, it is no longer 1978 and such things are now frowned upon. Perhaps a donation to an animal charity would be more appropriate. Or one of your old Razzle mags.

Yours, Chris"
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Minge
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« Reply #11 on: March 07, 2021, 03:41:49 PM »

My money is on the ref 
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MF(c) DOOM
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« Reply #12 on: March 07, 2021, 04:11:02 PM »

I emailed David Attenborough about this and he replied...

"If the hippo is too far from water, the rhino probably wins. On land, the rhino has the hippo beat in terms of speed, maneuverability, and weight. The rhino can charge the hippo, and while his horn isn’t as hard as the ivory tusks of a hippo, it is still plenty hard enough to penetrate a hippo’s skin. After enough horn-sized holes are poked through its hide, the hippo will eventually bleed out and die.

If the fight takes place at the edge of the water, say, by a watering hole, then things become more more dicey. The rhino dare not enter the water, and the hippo dare not get too far from the water’s edge, lest the rhino’s land advantage start to come into play. The smartest outcome for both animals would be a stalemate, with the hippo staying in the water and the rhino staying on the land, but I still count this as a slight victory for the rhino, since the whole reason the rhino is at the water in the first place is to get a drink, and if the hippo stays in the water, the hippo cannot stop the rhino from achieving this objective.

If the fight takes place with both animals in the water, then the hippo almost certainly wins. The hippo has far more speed and maneuverability in the water, and will likely attempt to push the rhino further and further into the water to try and drown the rhino, something it is definitely capable of doing.

Regardless, no matter which animal is the victor, both animals will likely sustain severe damage. It is no wonder that this type of fight rarely occurs in the wild. Honey badgers would knock fuck out of them both"
Concerned about the potentially misleading information Attenborough may have given you, I emailed leading naturalist and Asperger'sist Chris Packham. He replied with...
"I wouldn't listen to a word that that cunt Attenborough says. It's typical nonagenarian orthodoxy to expect a rhino to give a hippo an on land kicking. The daft auld cunt is forgetting a couple of things:

1) The rhino's eyesight is worse than a wanking Mr Magoo's

2) The hippo's ability to spray shit

The hippo would whirl his tail whilst shitting. To the Lennie Peters of the animal Kingdom, The Mackem sized pile of shit produced would not only appear to be a hippo, but would crucially SMELL like one. As the rhino ploughs headfirst into the shite, the hippo would rear end the daft cunt into a swamp

I hope this helps. I appreciate your offer of a photograph of your penis as payment for my expertise, but even though I work for the BBC, it is no longer 1978 and such things are now frowned upon. Perhaps a donation to an animal charity would be more appropriate. Or one of your old Razzle mags.

Yours, Chris"

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Bob_Ender
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« Reply #13 on: March 11, 2021, 06:55:03 PM »

So,what if,and it's a big what if,the type of what if yer only find on YouTube at daft o'clock int morning...

Said protagonists are at the waters edge....both giving it large...

A beeg fuck off 28 ft  crock oh fucking dile pops up..........easy lads,ya know the rules,3 knockdowns and............I eat the loser.



Struggling to think of any mammal that could put a crock t sleep,apart from me jibber jabbering.....mebee crocodile Dundee


🐊 's rock.................Shabba n'that.   
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Uncle guyguy's Secret Whorehouse
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« Reply #14 on: March 11, 2021, 06:59:44 PM »

So,what if,and it's a big what if,the type of what if yer only find on YouTube at daft o'clock int morning...

Said protagonists are at the waters edge....both giving it large...

A beeg fuck off 28 ft  crock oh fucking dile pops up..........easy lads,ya know the rules,3 knockdowns and............I eat the loser.



Struggling to think of any mammal that could put a crock t sleep,apart from me jibber jabbering.....mebee crocodile Dundee


🐊 's rock.................Shabba n'that.    

What if the hippy was wearing a top hat and the the rhinosnail was wearing a nappy?
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CLEM FANDANGO
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« Reply #15 on: March 11, 2021, 07:05:14 PM »

I emailed David Attenborough about this and he replied...

"If the hippo is too far from water, the rhino probably wins. On land, the rhino has the hippo beat in terms of speed, maneuverability, and weight. The rhino can charge the hippo, and while his horn isn’t as hard as the ivory tusks of a hippo, it is still plenty hard enough to penetrate a hippo’s skin. After enough horn-sized holes are poked through its hide, the hippo will eventually bleed out and die.

If the fight takes place at the edge of the water, say, by a watering hole, then things become more more dicey. The rhino dare not enter the water, and the hippo dare not get too far from the water’s edge, lest the rhino’s land advantage start to come into play. The smartest outcome for both animals would be a stalemate, with the hippo staying in the water and the rhino staying on the land, but I still count this as a slight victory for the rhino, since the whole reason the rhino is at the water in the first place is to get a drink, and if the hippo stays in the water, the hippo cannot stop the rhino from achieving this objective.

If the fight takes place with both animals in the water, then the hippo almost certainly wins. The hippo has far more speed and maneuverability in the water, and will likely attempt to push the rhino further and further into the water to try and drown the rhino, something it is definitely capable of doing.

Regardless, no matter which animal is the victor, both animals will likely sustain severe damage. It is no wonder that this type of fight rarely occurs in the wild. Honey badgers would knock fuck out of them both"
Concerned about the potentially misleading information Attenborough may have given you, I emailed leading naturalist and Asperger'sist Chris Packham. He replied with...
"I wouldn't listen to a word that that cunt Attenborough says. It's typical nonagenarian orthodoxy to expect a rhino to give a hippo an on land kicking. The daft auld cunt is forgetting a couple of things:

1) The rhino's eyesight is worse than a wanking Mr Magoo's

2) The hippo's ability to spray shit

The hippo would whirl his tail whilst shitting. To the Lennie Peters of the animal Kingdom, The Mackem sized pile of shit produced would not only appear to be a hippo, but would crucially SMELL like one. As the rhino ploughs headfirst into the shite, the hippo would rear end the daft cunt into a swamp

I hope this helps. I appreciate your offer of a photograph of your penis as payment for my expertise, but even though I work for the BBC, it is no longer 1978 and such things are now frowned upon. Perhaps a donation to an animal charity would be more appropriate. Or one of your old Razzle mags.

Yours, Chris"

Wise words.

Thanks for sharing.
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« Reply #16 on: March 11, 2021, 07:05:53 PM »

I emailed David Attenborough about this and he replied...

"If the hippo is too far from water, the rhino probably wins. On land, the rhino has the hippo beat in terms of speed, maneuverability, and weight. The rhino can charge the hippo, and while his horn isn’t as hard as the ivory tusks of a hippo, it is still plenty hard enough to penetrate a hippo’s skin. After enough horn-sized holes are poked through its hide, the hippo will eventually bleed out and die.

If the fight takes place at the edge of the water, say, by a watering hole, then things become more more dicey. The rhino dare not enter the water, and the hippo dare not get too far from the water’s edge, lest the rhino’s land advantage start to come into play. The smartest outcome for both animals would be a stalemate, with the hippo staying in the water and the rhino staying on the land, but I still count this as a slight victory for the rhino, since the whole reason the rhino is at the water in the first place is to get a drink, and if the hippo stays in the water, the hippo cannot stop the rhino from achieving this objective.

If the fight takes place with both animals in the water, then the hippo almost certainly wins. The hippo has far more speed and maneuverability in the water, and will likely attempt to push the rhino further and further into the water to try and drown the rhino, something it is definitely capable of doing.

Regardless, no matter which animal is the victor, both animals will likely sustain severe damage. It is no wonder that this type of fight rarely occurs in the wild. Honey badgers would knock fuck out of them both"
Concerned about the potentially misleading information Attenborough may have given you, I emailed leading naturalist and Asperger'sist Chris Packham. He replied with...
"I wouldn't listen to a word that that cunt Attenborough says. It's typical nonagenarian orthodoxy to expect a rhino to give a hippo an on land kicking. The daft auld cunt is forgetting a couple of things:

1) The rhino's eyesight is worse than a wanking Mr Magoo's

2) The hippo's ability to spray shit

The hippo would whirl his tail whilst shitting. To the Lennie Peters of the animal Kingdom, The Mackem sized pile of shit produced would not only appear to be a hippo, but would crucially SMELL like one. As the rhino ploughs headfirst into the shite, the hippo would rear end the daft cunt into a swamp

I hope this helps. I appreciate your offer of a photograph of your penis as payment for my expertise, but even though I work for the BBC, it is no longer 1978 and such things are now frowned upon. Perhaps a donation to an animal charity would be more appropriate. Or one of your old Razzle mags.

Yours, Chris"

Wise words.

Thanks for sharing.

Gross.
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Bob_Ender
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« Reply #17 on: March 12, 2021, 07:44:54 PM »

I've got it,I've got it ....the solution is quite easy when you decipher Fermats last theorem.....a¶×   ∆=3c    + 3= mc squared.

Ahhh,easy when ya know how.

🎩
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